Valerie Frost is a Garden State native. She lives and works in Central Kentucky with her twin three-year-olds. Her poems have appeared in the Eastern Iowa Review, Thimble Lit Mag, and Anti-Heroin Chic, and she has forthcoming pieces elsewhere. Her Twitter handle is @TheMillBradshaw.
I Like My Coffee at 3 PM on a Saturday
after Sei Shonagon’s Hateful Things
When you’re about to make a right turn at a red light and the car in front of you is going straight.
When you choose the shortest checkout line and a manager is summoned for a transaction issue.
When you see the blue Working on updates 0% complete don’t turn off your computer screen.
When you go to Starbucks at a random coffee time and there are twenty cars in the drive-thru.
When clothes not labeled “dry-clean only” shrink 10x their original size after you wash them.
When someone spells your name wrong in an email, but your email address is your name.
When an automated phone system says That’s not an option, goodbye after you press 0.
When someone has decent looking hair on a rainy day (curly girl problems).
When you spend over $5 for a cocktail and don’t taste any alcohol in it.
When every new movie release claims to be the best movie of the year.
When the security fingerprint locks you out of your own phone.
People who argue with you over opinions.
Owing money at tax time.
Two Truths and a Lie
I think about when
I used to stay up late;
sleepless nights, when
all I had for company were
insomnia and infomercials.
And sometimes, when
Rip Van Winkle didn’t visit you
either, we would pass the time
on AOL instant messenger
-you’ve got mail-
We talked about
how many kids we’d have (2)
and how you wanted a car after
you finished Air Force Tech School.
I was nervous, but you promised
not to go to the store for milk
and leave us and never come back.
Well, you got a car and
we had our two kids.